

Why didn’t I do something ?”Īnger- “How could he do this to me?” You saw your loved one’s life as viable they saw it differently and chose to die. Shame – “What would people think of me if they knew my child completed suicide ?”īlame – “I must have been a lousy parent if my child killed himself !” The following is an example of some of the things survivors might say to themselves that lead to these feelings: It is this element of “choice rather than chance” that complicates the grief process. One of the differences in the grief process after suicide is that the act involves a conscious choice, which is different than sudden death through accidents or cancer. This means that it is often difficult for them to establish new relationships because they feel cautious about reconnecting or new connections.

Perseverance is also required because, for many survivors, basic trust in relationships with others was broken when the person contemplated suicide. One can only go through it! Our task as helpers is to provide a safe and nonjudgmental environment where the griever can begin the telling of “the story” (of the life and of the death) and develop effective tools for dealing with their grief. There is no way to speed up the grief process. I don’t know if a year is a short period of time or not, but it is very real to me today.”įor this reason, patience on the part of the helper is most important. And I think that it was because I surrounded myself with him, looking at pictures, and talking about him to everyone that helped me come to terms with it in such a short period of time. But I think it took a year for me to really believe it. I mean there are times when I still think this is unbelievable. “I think before the grief really set in, it took over a year. This means that one year after the death, the griever may still be in the depths of their grief, long after society expects people to be over their grief. 1) The period of numbness and disbelief will be longer, extending the duration of the grief process and 2) there is the added burden of understanding the motivation for the death.įor suicide survivors, the grief process is particularly long given the complexity of issues survivors struggle with. When someone completes suicide, the mourning process for survivors is different in at least 2 ways. People who talk about suicide complete suicide.Suicide tends to run in families, but it is learned not genetic. Often it is unconsciously suggested as a means of coping with overwhelming moments.Most attempts of suicide are made by women in their 20′s and 30′s Men complete suicide three times more than women, but women attempt suicide five times more than men.White males over the age of 50 make up approximately 10% of the population but account for 28% of the total suicide deaths.It is estimated that for every suicide there are 15 unsuccessful attempts.

